Carol’s Vault
Best Freeware, Open Source Software
Things I've learned
Embrace the Differences – understand the power of TO LIKE and NOT TO LIKE
Sep 23rd
Long post ahead….
This article it’s a bit messy because I couldn’t manage to put my thoughts in order, so I just started writing, but I am sure you’ll get the point I am trying to make.
Have you ever thought about the things and people you really like and what that means?
Have you ever thought of the impact that this has on the other people that we don’t like?
When we like people, we are likely to do lots of things for them and most often we don’t want anything back. We just do things for them because…well, we like them. We care a lot more about them, approve them and tolerate them.
We will be just fine with their mistakes and we’ll even turn a blind eye when they are unfair to someone else.
I am not talking about love. Love is different and even though is supposed to be unconditional, it isn’t. Love comes with many conditions and rules.
But when you like someone for example, it seems that it is unconditional.
You can’t tell somebody:” Look, I will like you, but with one condition…”, but you can say: “I don’t like you because of…”
Remember when one of your friends asked you: “Why do you like it/her/him?”
Your answer was probably: “I don’t know. I just like it. No particular reason.”
J. said one day to his loved one:” I love you, but I don’t like you right now.”
He was clearly upset. She didn’t understand at first what he meant but, she did later when she saw that when he liked her, he did a lot more for her.
What does this mean? That liking her meant a lot more than loving her?
Does this also mean that if a husband starts skipping hours from home is because he doesn’t like his wife anymore even though he loves her? Perhaps. Best bet is asking the husband and hope for an honest answer.
You can like someone without loving them but you can’t love someone without liking them. To like someone is more powerful than loving. That’s the conclusion I came to.
Delayed gratification or in other words self-control
Jun 21st
I’ve been watching some videos on TED.com today and one of the videos, as you’ll see below, is about delayed gratification. Then i remembered abut some books and some studies i’ve been reading the last few years about this subject and…here i am making a post about it.
Delayed gratification is by definition : ” the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait which is important for life success. Daniel Goleman has suggested that it is an important component of emotional intelligence. People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control.” Read the rest of this entry »
Conversation with a stranger
Jun 18th
Image: Strangers by yazzros
Peter was one of the people i used to see every morning in the bus on my way to work. He used to sit there and look more active than i did at 6.30 in the morning. Intriguing…considering that everyone else in that bus was either asleep or deep into their thoughts…sitting there quietly.
One day, i was on my way back home and he was too. He sat right in front of me and just said: “People don’t talk to each other anymore these days.”
True enough.
Read the rest of this entry »
Don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself
Jun 8th
People tend to make us feel bad at times, on purpose or by mistake. What i learned was not to let anyone make me feel bad about myself because they want to. I am more important to myself than they are to me.
Whenever someone does that, i disregard them on the spot because anyone who’ll try to make me feel bad is not my friend and doesn’t care about my well-being.
You are the only one in the position to feel bad or good about about yourself. No one else but you.
I’ve learned this, and then i learned some more….
Things I've learned or I've been taught : Feelings
Jun 5th
After a significant absence from the blogosphere due to blogger’s block and some other reasons, i came to a conclusion that if i don’t write about the other subjects that interest me a lot instead of only tech stuff, then i will run out of ideas and have break after break.
There’s a lot of tech to talk about, but it is not all that interest me. As from now i will have two extra categories: “Things I’ve learned” and “ Things I’ve been taught” .
I always found it hard to talk about my personal feelings on my blog and when i did it, i took the entries off in no time.
Maybe it’s time to change that – because changes are good – and start ranting.
Us and the ones around us
 Image by Eliara |
The number one thing i learned was to voice my feelings no matter what others think. If their feelings are important, mine are too. But what’s more important in this lesson is to be very considerate to everyone’s feelings even if you don’t like them. It’s called being an adult. Now i will learn to write my feelings down. Then I’ve learned that no matter who you think you are, no matter the intellectual level or your social position, your money… you will always depend on your peers, your friends. They make you who you are – like it or not – and approve you or dismiss you, they help you or bring you down based on the way you make them feel. I’ve learned this, and then i learned some more…. |